La Petite Chinoise : LPC

When I say that it’s difficult living in France, I really mean it. I’ve never missed that many trains, that many flights nor have that many misplaced parcels in my life. People have sent me parcels that have taken anything between 2 weeks and 2 months to arrive. There’s always something going on in France: the World Cup, rainy season, les grèves (strikes): the announced strikes and the surprise strikes (we are allowed up to 4 maximum surprise strike days in one year). I have grown “used” to the peculiarities of living in a foreign land.

But this one parcel that went AWOL*, I’m still not sure what hit me. In early February this year, I bought something online. The seller is a fellow Singaporean who quickly and efficiently shipped the goods 3 days upon payment. The parcel arrives in Paris on March 3rd with a demand that I pay les douanes (customs) EUR150. I almost flipped out. I called and explained to customs that the contents are not worth EUR150. Here’s how the conversation goes (all in French):

Mr Customs: “Madame, c’est bien marqué $500!” (Madam, it’s indicated as $500!)

LPC: Yes, But Mr Customs, that is 500 Singapore Dollars! Not 500 US Dollars.

Mr Customs: No, no. I’m sure it’s 500 US Dollars.

LPC: No, I’m sure – I’m from Singapore and that’s my parcel. I paid for the package. And I paid 500 Singapore dollars. I kid you not.

Mr Customs: Well, *floundering*… it’s too late. I’ve stamped the parcel to be returned to the sender. You can get the sender to resend if you want. *click*

Nice. So much for la politesse. (Politeness)

Three weeks later, the parcel arrives in Singapore. Long story short: the bag is now with my sister who sends it to me by registered post, well marked 500 SINGAPORE DOLLARS. Two weeks go by, then four, and 6 weeks later, the status of the parcel is still and always at customs. Here I’m thinking “Oh no, it’s the same connard! (French swear word for male brainless twit)”.

Many phone calls later, I managed to get the phone number of the delivery company that SingPost uses in Europe and spoke to a live person, Emma, who informs me that customs have stamped my parcel as counterfeit product and French customs have again sent it back to the sender. (Is this the luck or what?) How they went from branded goods being US$500 to counterfeit is beyond me. Emma promised that TNT will resend the package to me from Singapore at no extra charge if I am able to show proof of purchase, which has to be outside the box inside the plastic envelope. So, here we go again.

And all along, I’m tracking the whereabouts of this package: from Roissy, to Singapore in Iceland, to Singapore in China, back to Singapore, Singapore, the country of origin. I mean, where in Iceland is Singapore? Very very very south I would say.

Now, an even long-er story short-er: Emma** at TNT kept in touch with me all the way. Many persons got involved to get this receipt, the customs all over got copies of this receipt, confirmation of addresses, persons, identities… and 201 days later, the parcel arrives! WHOOOHOO! Can I say how relieved I am that this saga is f.i.n.a.l.l.y over?

Tonight, Ben and I have planned to go to the Four Seasons Hotel on Ave George V to celebrate an achievement at work. Like clockwork, we went to straight to Le Bar (the bar) and promptly ordered our martinis. We’ve made it our little “tradition” to come to the Four Seasons for the celebratory martini and dinner. We come here for a martini done right, soothing piano music, good food, and service with a smile, a change of pace, for things to go right and for three hours to forget that we are in Paris. My first martini is a Litchi martini, toasting Ben for a job well done. My second martini is the George V sour apple martini for the successful arrival of THE package. The second one went down smooth and fast.

*AWOL: military term for Absent Without Official Leave

**Emma at TNT is a God-send. For all the bad service I have received, Emma is one good apple in the crate - the best customer service I’ve had in France.

The Four Seasons Hotel
31 avenue George V
75008, Paris
Tel: 01 49 52 70 00
Fax: 01 49 52 70 10
Website for the Four Seasons Hotel in Paris
Métro: Charles de Gaulle Etoile